Tales From the Trail - TCH3 #251

[WhoreShack]

TCH3 #251 had a little bit of everything a great hash needs. It had Virgins, it had Visitors, it had Returners, it had Mardi Gras Beads, it had Trains, It had amazing scenery, it had Reggae Music, and it had BEER. So you are probably saying - "Gee Shack tells us more". OK, settle down. I will now continue to describe, in intimate detail, the goings on of TCH3 #251, also known as Tales From the Trail. In attendance at this blessed event were: Dubya's Bitch - Hare, Ear Muff Muff - Visitor, Got Milf -Returner, Kinder Ball Digger - Hottie Hound , Megatron Bonaparte - Stud Hound, Mustache Rider - Wonder Woman Walker, Whore Shack - Hash Hound Mucho Gusto and Virgin Art - VIRGIN (names listed alphabetically - titles earned honestly) Now that the silliness is out of the way, On On to the telling o' the Tale. The hare and Shack arrived at the designated starting location, the Conchy Joe's overflow parking lot, just before 6:30pm. The scene was good, so they decided to unload and set-up for what would be a night to be remembered. As Shack and Dubya went to their tasks, a familiar "OnOn" call came from an unfamiliar car. No matter, the call was returned and it was soon revealed that Mustache Rider, Ear Muff Muff and Virgin Art were the inhabitants of said strange vehicle. Hellos and introductions were shared all around and invitations to sign-in and enjoy a beverage were extended. As the hare jettisoned off to secure the BN, the much welcumed arrival of Got Milf occurred. Next to arrive was Megatron, who informed that Kinder was en route, but was most likely arriving tardy. The hare returned as pre-lube was in full swing and Shack (that's me) was attempting to peddle the amazingly good looking, commemorative TCH3 250th long sleeve T-shirts (only $15.00 ~ what a bargain! Advanced Orders being taken NOW. Place your today ;D ) OnOn with the Tale. Kinder arrived just as chalk talk was about to get crackin', so not really too late. Chalk talk was laid down, with verbal assistance from the GM, the hare was thoroughly blessed and the pack was given a crowd pleasing six more minutes of pre-lube time. Six Minutes Dougie Fresh and we were onon, with an almost immediate Left Turn Clyde into the scrub and then out onto the R/R tracks. It was at this point that the walkers, lead by Mustache, split off from the pack and continued North following the rails like modern day hobos. The rest of the pack found trail heading (damn right I said it) South and then West again through a small, depressing shanty area. Talk about wrong side of the tracks, but I digress. So, onon back into the shiggy and up the hill to the majestic 360% views atop Skyline Drive. With the Indian River Lagoon and Hutchinson Island on our right, and the glow of US 1 and the mall on our left, we followed trail North up what the locals call Amen Hill. The running was good and hard and strong as the pack stayed well grouped through the winding wonder that is Skyline Drive. As myself and Milf neared the intersection of Skyline and the R/R tracks, three individuals, appearing to be quite lost, came into view. It was the walkers by golly, and they seemed to be neither f%#$ed up or jolly, but confused about the tit check that lay upon the ground. After making sure that it had been honored correctly, the entire pack moved onon toward Indian River Drive. "CHECK" "CHECKING RIGHT." "ON ONE". "ONE TWO." "ONON" we went down Indian River Drive. Motivating along the lagoon side of the road, against traffic we went. Dodging oncoming traffic, the hounds made their way at a fairly rapid pace, despite the minuscule sized plops left by the hare. So minuscule were the plops that Shack (that's me) and Milf figured they had been blown away by traffic, when they realized that Megatron and Kinder were actually on trail down on the shoreline. Oh well, no harm done and onon we trudged. Down the sand we traveled, eventually r*nning smack into the parking lot of Conchy Joes. The pack agreed that this was a dangerously bold move on the hares part, as it left the possibility of hounds to abandon the trail in favor of flavor. Not any of these hounds of course, but lesser dedicated hounds possibly. Again, I digress. Onon we continued to cry as the hounds sniffed out plops leading behind Dena's and back down to the shoreline and around to the causeway. "CHECK." "I bet he went left to the causeway" "He better not have gone over that f%#$ing bridge" Onon left, toward the causeway and the f%#$ing bridge, but plops trailed left at a curve in the sidewalk, and 100 yards later we were BN with an awesome view of the Indian River and both shorelines. PBSHT(beer can opening) was heard several times before we made any comments on trail. It was only then that thoughts were shared with regards to the walkers following trail, passing so close to the start and how calm the water was tonight. Some more small talk, and then it was decided that Kinder and Milf would directly return to the start in an effort to save the walkers and to allow Kinder to run a nuptials related errand before Tar~zyea (Target for the men out there) closed. Funny they aren't registered there, but she is getting a lot of the wedding stuff there. Oh well, once again, I digress. Time for one more PBSHT and then the men, (Shack and Megatron for any of you not paying attention) embarked on "the second half." Just as we reached the corner at IR Drive and were turning left, a familiar scene unfolded. Like dejavu, there were the walkers, looking completely befuddled with regards to trail. We could only guess that they somehow missed Milf and Kinder, so we let them know about the BN at the causeway and bid them farewell as we soldiered onon, past the domestic disturbance previously in progress. OK, so he is doing a quickie circle jerk and then on in, right? . WRONG. So there we were, cruising down Pineapple, making our way in the d-erection of downtown and all of it's Mardi Gras happenings, and the rest of the pack has retreated on in. This could be very bad for them, but hey, Shack (that's me) had decided to throw on a Mr T starter kit of beads to wear on trail, so this may not turn out too bad . Just as we could hear the music, smell the food and imagine the boobs, the trail turned away from the debauchery and sin. Oh well, there is always the on after, or even after on after. A hasher can dream. There I go again. OK, lets finish this puppy up. Onon to JB Blvd and then right onto Skyline. The pace was brisk, so the collaboration of "onon" calls and whistle tweets were constant as the trail looped one block to Sunview and then back to the R/R tracks. Onon like a midnight train we chugged down the rails in the direction of the on in. Closer and closer we drew nearer and nearer and closer and closer and finally we lost trail and decided to range back to the start. Circle had been laid and the cooler placed, time to get this deal finished. The pack had dwindled a bit as Kinder was off on the aforementioned errand, and Milf had headed (we can only suspect there was much rejoicing) home to act like the newly wed that she is. Circle is a blur of hares & VIRGINS & visitors & returners & birfdays/analversaries, and of course, accusations. Sometime, I do not recall exactly when, Kinder returned from being gone, and was immediately accused of being gone. Guilty. Accusations continued, with Shack (you guessed it) mostly ignoring the hare in favor of Megatron and generally running a shitty circle. Fiiinally, Megatron had run out of things to accuse, so we closed it MAN Style. "Swing low, sweet chariot. PBFSLT. Cuming for to carry me... ZZZzzzzzz" "May the hash go in peace. May the hash get a piece" The on after was at Conchy's, much to the dismay of the serving and kitchen staff. Food and drinks were ordered, stories were told, conch fritters and wings and ribs and shrimp were share by all. Good Times. Good Times.

Well, that's my Tale, I hope you liked it. If not, I suggest you show up to a TCH3 hash and then you can write it next time. How do you like them apples? What apples? I don't remember any apples. I'm hungry. What's for dinner? OK, back in the box. Sorry about that folks, my inner monologue gets loose now and again. But I digress.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

See ya on trail.

Shack