Post by Whore Shack on Mar 17, 2023 22:23:31 GMT -5
TCH3 Nation and Beyond - we are pleased to bring you another Thursday Night Exxcitement trail. Your hare, Ass On The Rocks, will be making his TCH3 haring debut, and he has written a "love letter" to the wanks that is reminiscent of Tolstoy, Melville or Hemmingway. It has been included at the end of the posting, after the who, when, what where bits, and I encourage everyone to take the time and effort to read it. Now, for the Who, What Where bits that I mentioned:
Who: Ass On The Rocks &
When: March 23rd - Pre-lube begins at 6:45sht, Hare(s) away at 7:30sht, pack away by 7:45sht
What to bring & wear: whistles, flashlights (2 are recommended by the hare. In-case #1 fails), shiggy shoes, hash attire, a whole lot of grit and intestinal fortitude.
How much: $5.00 hash cash (includes pre-lube, trails w/ 2 BNs, circle and orange food)
Where: Pinky's Palace (actual address will be added soon) The coordinates are: 27.255556, -80.345895
How to get there: once there is an address, I suggest using a GPS to help you navigate. If you already know how to get to Pinky's Palace, use that knowledge to your advantage.
As promised, the "love letter" to the wanks, courtesy of your hare. Enjoy
Little fucking jumping dancing Jesus!
I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “Pajama party Barbie trail” you my friend, should stop reading. If you are looking for a short description of the trail before you, I can offer you two words “TRUE GRIT”. This is the All-American journey of the free world. From the unreasonable amounts of uncharted terrain to the unknown distances ahead that say, “screw you, this is a shitty trail!” this trail emanates badness from every loosely scouted turn and switchback. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this epic hash run through the wilderness.
Everyone that ever ran a trail like this has a beard!
I know what you are asking yourself: “Am I badass enough to run this trail?” The short answer is “NO!”. I tried to be. I grew my beard longer, I drank nearly suicidal amounts of beer, trimmed my fingernails with belt sander, and ate nothing but sawdust for two weeks after knocking a crocodile unconscious. This trail chuckled at my failed attempts of manliness. But even just by attempting to scout it I became so bloated with testosterone that I lost some of the trail signs. Yes, you may have to deal with that…
Running it is better than your last 4 romantic encounters… combined.
You may underestimate this trail at your own peril. Bring a whistle and bring a light. Bring two lights! There will be lots of shiggy, lots of snotty scumbag rich Trump Republicans protecting their properties with shotguns, and there will be water: deep muddy alligator-infested dark water. So leave your fagotty new running shoes at home and bring your dusty old stompers or you will regret it. This trail is dog friendly (if the dog is a Pitbull or tougher) and it is definitely not child friendly, so leave your damn kids locked in your hot vehicle like normal people do.
Scouting this trail was twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “300”.
There will be a number of beer checks and other good (and bad) reasons to stop and regroup but are you kidding me….Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old-fashioned way: you move your ass along the way like your more competent ancestors did. “What if it rains?”. . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading… Any hasher worth his/her/its patches doesn’t give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he’s already dripping wet in blood, sweat, mud, spit, and fish guts.
If you are looking for the kind of hash run where you can take pictures and run around holding your phone in front of your dumb face, or if you don’t want to step on mud so the carpet “doesn’t get wet and soggy” then you should bring your Bernie Sanders bumper stickers to the nearest indoors Pilates class and stay there. Because this challenge will drill holes in the soles of your shoes and will rip the sides of your kilts. If you want to run this trail you better leave your latest iPhone in the pink bag it came in.
After completing this run what will be happening? Glad you asked… You will grow chest hair and a full beard. You will switch to a meat only diet. You will get a former-junkyard-lot rescue Pitbull for a pet. You will qualify for a job at a lumber mill. You will catch more fish. Sex in the yard. Sex in the garage. All male offspring. Square jaw line. Better looking wives. Better looking mistresses. More dead animals in the freezer. Wife takes out the trash. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor. Wife stocks fridge with beer. Chuck Norris will send you a keg of beer on your birthday.
Put your GPS back in your purse.
And forget about putting one of those nicely washed and folded shirts cause when you’re spotted covered in mud, blood, beer and guts after this run there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.
Look at you. You don’t even know what to do with yourself right now. Well, take a deep masculine (or feminine) breath right now and make sure you will park your rice burning hatch back, solar powered liberal mobile, or even a hybrid crossover piece of junk at at one of the designated (by Pinky or Daisy) parking spots or you will be shit out of luck.
But if you think you’re going to get to test what material your made of in this trail, you better be ready to cough up Five American Dollars. The hare will provide pre-lube beer, at least two beer checks, circle beer, and road-side-whore-house-quality nutritious orange food.
Hare: Ass On The Rocks
Co-hare: Nobody had the balls or lack of common sense to join in, but Daisy may end up being voluntold to help
The coordinates are: 27.255556, -80.345895
Cost: $5
I told you it was worth the read. If you have any questions, comments or whatever else, contact Shack at 772-260-7048 and I will do my best to provide information or guidance, as requested or needed.
On On to new hares and more Thursday Night Exxxcitement
Who: Ass On The Rocks &
When: March 23rd - Pre-lube begins at 6:45sht, Hare(s) away at 7:30sht, pack away by 7:45sht
What to bring & wear: whistles, flashlights (2 are recommended by the hare. In-case #1 fails), shiggy shoes, hash attire, a whole lot of grit and intestinal fortitude.
How much: $5.00 hash cash (includes pre-lube, trails w/ 2 BNs, circle and orange food)
Where: Pinky's Palace (actual address will be added soon) The coordinates are: 27.255556, -80.345895
How to get there: once there is an address, I suggest using a GPS to help you navigate. If you already know how to get to Pinky's Palace, use that knowledge to your advantage.
As promised, the "love letter" to the wanks, courtesy of your hare. Enjoy
Little fucking jumping dancing Jesus!
I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “Pajama party Barbie trail” you my friend, should stop reading. If you are looking for a short description of the trail before you, I can offer you two words “TRUE GRIT”. This is the All-American journey of the free world. From the unreasonable amounts of uncharted terrain to the unknown distances ahead that say, “screw you, this is a shitty trail!” this trail emanates badness from every loosely scouted turn and switchback. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this epic hash run through the wilderness.
Everyone that ever ran a trail like this has a beard!
I know what you are asking yourself: “Am I badass enough to run this trail?” The short answer is “NO!”. I tried to be. I grew my beard longer, I drank nearly suicidal amounts of beer, trimmed my fingernails with belt sander, and ate nothing but sawdust for two weeks after knocking a crocodile unconscious. This trail chuckled at my failed attempts of manliness. But even just by attempting to scout it I became so bloated with testosterone that I lost some of the trail signs. Yes, you may have to deal with that…
Running it is better than your last 4 romantic encounters… combined.
You may underestimate this trail at your own peril. Bring a whistle and bring a light. Bring two lights! There will be lots of shiggy, lots of snotty scumbag rich Trump Republicans protecting their properties with shotguns, and there will be water: deep muddy alligator-infested dark water. So leave your fagotty new running shoes at home and bring your dusty old stompers or you will regret it. This trail is dog friendly (if the dog is a Pitbull or tougher) and it is definitely not child friendly, so leave your damn kids locked in your hot vehicle like normal people do.
Scouting this trail was twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “300”.
There will be a number of beer checks and other good (and bad) reasons to stop and regroup but are you kidding me….Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old-fashioned way: you move your ass along the way like your more competent ancestors did. “What if it rains?”. . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading… Any hasher worth his/her/its patches doesn’t give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he’s already dripping wet in blood, sweat, mud, spit, and fish guts.
If you are looking for the kind of hash run where you can take pictures and run around holding your phone in front of your dumb face, or if you don’t want to step on mud so the carpet “doesn’t get wet and soggy” then you should bring your Bernie Sanders bumper stickers to the nearest indoors Pilates class and stay there. Because this challenge will drill holes in the soles of your shoes and will rip the sides of your kilts. If you want to run this trail you better leave your latest iPhone in the pink bag it came in.
After completing this run what will be happening? Glad you asked… You will grow chest hair and a full beard. You will switch to a meat only diet. You will get a former-junkyard-lot rescue Pitbull for a pet. You will qualify for a job at a lumber mill. You will catch more fish. Sex in the yard. Sex in the garage. All male offspring. Square jaw line. Better looking wives. Better looking mistresses. More dead animals in the freezer. Wife takes out the trash. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor. Wife stocks fridge with beer. Chuck Norris will send you a keg of beer on your birthday.
Put your GPS back in your purse.
And forget about putting one of those nicely washed and folded shirts cause when you’re spotted covered in mud, blood, beer and guts after this run there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.
Look at you. You don’t even know what to do with yourself right now. Well, take a deep masculine (or feminine) breath right now and make sure you will park your rice burning hatch back, solar powered liberal mobile, or even a hybrid crossover piece of junk at at one of the designated (by Pinky or Daisy) parking spots or you will be shit out of luck.
But if you think you’re going to get to test what material your made of in this trail, you better be ready to cough up Five American Dollars. The hare will provide pre-lube beer, at least two beer checks, circle beer, and road-side-whore-house-quality nutritious orange food.
Hare: Ass On The Rocks
Co-hare: Nobody had the balls or lack of common sense to join in, but Daisy may end up being voluntold to help
The coordinates are: 27.255556, -80.345895
Cost: $5
I told you it was worth the read. If you have any questions, comments or whatever else, contact Shack at 772-260-7048 and I will do my best to provide information or guidance, as requested or needed.
On On to new hares and more Thursday Night Exxxcitement